I have read many about how guys could not get a girlfriend, listen to many rantings about guys unable to get a girlfriend, or heard of guys fail to get girlfriend. On the other hand, i also read, listened and heard many of my friends unable to get boyfriends. Today i read another issue on it. So where did we go wrong? Did today's Adam and Eve's generation went too far from the basic principle of courting?
Has we all, the newer improve Adam and Eve version has gone far and more advance than our very own predecessor? Or have we all gone too borderless in our society that we have more choice until we are unable to choose? Or are we too busy with our careers to go seek partners until it is too late (meaning you are too old? Then blame you are old?)
How about blaming the very old saying that one is being too choosy? Like a friend of mine saying that he or she should have certain things on such and such. At the end of the day, we all still know and say that not all things is perfect. Sometimes perfect things may have its other cons too.
I read somewhere and the person quoted that in Malaysia, the ratio of single women to single men is 15:1. This make me think, is this correct? Maybe it is correct. If you are one of them what would you do by now? Go hook yourself up in Friendster, MSN, Messenger, pubs, Ah Moi.com, and other matchmaking services? Why not? Otherwise, where will you find your partner? The point here is not getting yourself panick and start looking for a partner. My point is what happen to the basic principle of courting that resulted many of us crying no partners? Or actually the basic of courting is wrong?
Here let me list out the things that we all will consider (let it be the men's or the women's factor):
Everyone wants someone who is beautiful and handsome. No doubt this is everybody wish.
Girls wants guys taller than them. Guys wants girl shorter than them. How about the other way round?
This matters to me but i have seen couple of opposing sizes together. Given the heart, would you mind your girlfriends is bigger than yours?
If anyone who argue that money is not important this person ought to be shot dead. Come on man, everything needs money. If you can't belanja your girlfriend for dinner and see movie at least you still need to save for wedding right? Money is important. Do not say that money is not important. When your girfriend is sick how are you going to pay for her medical? So you think she has company clinic.. wait till you marry your girlfriend. Every bit is money. So money is important but try not put too much strain on the relationship base on money. I am tellling you that money is important but relationship still needs it. However, there are girls who are pretty strict on this issue. Worth arguing.
When you got money, this is second. So, guys with this won't have problem. But, yes there is always a but, there are guys after 40 and having so much money and property they couldn't find a wife. What went wrong? OK, a guy with this status will have girls coming to you! Now, will there be love? Aiya, you got money i give you love lor... no money bye bye lor... where does that stand? o_O...
Love, everybody talks about it. Old people says, "aiya, ah mui, as long as the man loves you lar... dun be so fussy lar.. nanti orang tak mau lu". Love. How many of us here has interpreted love from its worse to its sweetness? Do you know that love sometimes can be painful? Painful when you had gone after a girl so many years and then she said, "sorry, this guy is my boyfriend, we started XX months ago..."Quite an irony right? that is a reality man... I put love last because at the end of courtship, love is still the strongest subject to be discuss...
So, where do we go wrong when it comes to courtship? Do we blame the ladies if we cannot find a partner? Or do the ladies blame the men when they cannot find their desired partner? I find men to be very foolish to blame women's success that cause them partner-less. Don't you think it is unfair to women? If you blame women because they are too success then have you ever thought of yourself why you did not do well in your early life? Go stray and waste money and at the end say women is more success. Men who say that should be ashamed of themselves.
Men should be more confident with themselves. Why do you want to compare yourself with women's level of success? After all, they won't bite you. Yes, it may be true that the face value of men is often less thicker and worried that they might be the story of the year and gossip by other people that he lives on his wife. Why not? World change. There are out there men who clean the house and cook for their wife. I've seen men cling on to their wife's arm while shopping!
Come, let us ask ourselves this question:
1. Do you mind if your wife earn more than you?
2. Do you mind if your girlfriend earn more than you?
3. Do you mind if your girlfriend drives a bigger car than you?
4. Do you mind if your girlfriend is more sociable than you?
5. Do you mind if your girlfriend is more chic than you?
6. Do you mind if your girlfriend holds a position higher than you?
At the end of the day, this is what i have to say to ladies and gentlemen out there,
1. The ratio of 15 : 1 is not accurate, if this is so, i think 1 utama is full of single guys and gals. Most probably, the next time i rode up an escalator, i will see guys in a row and girls in the other row. Come on lar... Malaysian guys and Malaysian girls boleh lar...
2. I believe in fate and faith in meeting your partner. If fate comes then your faith in having a partner will come. Just be patience.
3. Be yourself and don't go ape over someone. Be cool. A simple start up line can be as nice as, "hi my name is !xobile, can i be your friend?" Don't you think that sound nice and polite. It works for ladies too. It does not show you are making the first move. Just a simple friendly introduction to kill the ice. Rather than cursing up your arse and trying to cook up something to get to know the girl. I met my wife like that. After all, men should always be brave and go up to the girl. I am a guy writing this so i will always insist that guy make the move first. Gentleman mar!
4. Courtship should be relaxing and fun. Don't fuss and fuse over small matters. Close one eye lar. If fuss and fuse like a dynamic then no point anymore. See also argue, over the phone also nag, eat also nag... what's the point of continuing the relationship? Unless you are the verbal-sadistic type lar... like to be verbally torture... hehehehehe...
5. Last but not least, stay honest and don't play play around. Think of yourself if you are in her shoe; the same goes for ladies. This are things that you will learn over time. Ladies like guys who think about them. Guys also in turn like ladies who cares about them. What is wrong to let one guard down for each other.
This will be my last entry for this blog. See you around.
sky is not the limit... remember... until then... good bye!